On Children

On Children

 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I read this poem recently after an acupuncture treatment and the words were so meaningful...so meaningful that I just sat and re-read...stunned.  It is so easy to let your own mindset take over, or someone-else's for that matter.  Hence, how another parent wants me to react when my kid takes the train from their kids hand at the train table at Barnes and Noble, and then tells their kid to come and play on the other side away from him....  This puts it all in perspective.  I can guide and model good and loving behavior, but I can not and will not CONTROL my child.  I can remove him from a situation if necessary and/or take a break with him if need be, but not scream and yell at him and force him to apologize.  It just isn't in me anymore....and when the last little bits of it seep out....that feeling of "need to control" I am ashamed and I re-evaluate.  I realize that re-evaluation may be a life long process and some days it comes easier than others, but when I look into my child's eyes I am doing the best that I can to be the best mom I can be.    He seems happy enough anyway...